My five fathers 我的五位慈父

Today is the father's day. It let me think of all my fathers.

The first is my foster father, Cao. He is my biological father's brother-in-law and brought me up since I was three month old. He gave all his love to me. Now, he passed away in 2008 at aged of 85. I love him forever.

The second father is my first husband, Edward's father, Ting. Now he is 73 and a talk man nearly 6 ft. Although my first husband died for over 20 years, Ting still sees me as his real daughter and keeps his house for me. We keep in touch. I love him. Every time, if I see him, he always cooks a traditional dish called 素雞. It is made by hard Tufu soaked in light soy sauce, then eat in cool. It is our favourite food, particularly when we together drink local wine with it. I regret I am unable to look after him as I live in the UK, 7000 miles away from him. I love him and pray for his health and happiness.

The third father is my biological father, Sam. As for his disagreement with my first marriage, we didn't have any connection since then. He lives in Hong Kong and now aged at 81. Today, my husband convinced me to forgive him. So, I sent my forgiveness via my Hong Kong uncle. Just bless him for good health and happy.

The fourth father is my now father-in-law, Frank. He died 35 years ago. He is the most important person for my husband. Although I never see him, the family ring passed onto me with all his good wish. My husband always tells me lot of stories about him. He brought up my husband in military camp. He was a tank commander in British army and spent half of his life all around world during his military career. Finally, his leg was injured and broken during the World War II. He is my family War hero. I respect him very much. Father I love you.

The fifth father is my uncle, Xing, now 71, also the most important person in my life. He is highly educated, very kind, understanding, caring and always spot me. My uncle specifically loves me as his daughter, because he has two very good sons, Joseph and Kevin. All his family see me as part of them. I love and respect him very much indeed. My husband also loves him.

I am pride of them and luckily benefited from their love.

In Chinese, the father's words are heavier than sky. 父教勝於天.

Dear fathers, I love you all.

Happy father's day.

Love you Mum 思念母親

My foster mum passed away on 12 March 2009 at age of 83. I feel extremely sad. I can't describe how pain my heart.

Every morning, when I see her face, I just want to cry. No one can understand me.
I am very down and feel my world has end. I just hopelessly live in the world.
Mum, I love you, I can't bear the pain and loss.
Buddha blesses you forever. Love you mum.

Mussels 青口

In the UK, if you are not behave self like a British, you can eat all seafood in raw. Today is Chinese boat racing festival, I can't have stick dumpling in the UK, so I walked alone beach to pick up mussel from sea fence in Bacton. It is quite tough particular in all rough shell covered. After two hours 'hard working', I finally got around 2kg mussels. I am sorry for the Queen as I didn't get her permission to her sea.
My husband doesn't like any seafood. So, the only thing for me is to hidden it and eat quietly. laughing.
Be honest, this is the first raw seafood since I stayed here in 2007. I feel sad and hopeless for all food in this country. Hope this is a light for my variety.

Burying Hong Kong 沉落香港

I watch and listen HK news everyday whatever I am in HK or not. However, recently, I am very disappointed with all changes in HK which result me feeling bad and I think Beijing and HK gov are destroying HK's unique and future. Just sad all HK's policies are interfered by the under table black hands -some kind of Chinese ???!!!. What can I do?
So, I decided not to listen and watch any HK news and just to bury my heart away from HK.
It will be no more HK in the world soon.
Buddha blesses HK's future. I love HK.

Fish & Chips 炸魚和薯條的歡喜

Fish & Chips is UK's national dish since unknown age. I was refused to have it as it is junk food when I lived in the UK 8 years ago. Now, as the shortage of lovely Chinese food in this country, and also it is my husband's favourite. Every Saturdays, we travel around Norfolk to hunt for the best fish & Chips in Norfolk. So far, we have enjoyed English traditional with English ownerships as below in Norfolk,

1)the best warmly and home feeling fish & chips restaurant is in Wroxham called Ken's
2)The best fish & Chip take away shop is in Wells-next-Sea (over 60 miles from my home)
3)The best value for money Fish & Chips shop in Walcott sea front where just 10 minutes way from my home.

Those three are the most we go for the lovely food. However, except those three, the rest of fish & chips shops are not owned by English. They almost run by my foreign immigration from China, Turkey, India, Polish and so on. even it is cheaper than those English fish & chips, the feeling is different when we walk into those English and foreigner cooked fish & chips shop.

Surprisingly, now I have been converted by my English husband and enjoyed fish & chips every Saturdays although it is poisoned junk food which I never had in HK. Never mind, just be happy and enjoy the limited

New Year's Resolution 2009 新年夢

2008 was gone badly which it gave me the worse memory about UK and English behaviour. Whatever in the past, I must keep my mind positively and cheerfully face the future also give myself revolutionary change in 2009. the meaning of change may against my Buddhist philosophy, such as zero tolerance to be bullied at workplace; have to learn drinking for the purpose of integrating with British society; part-time vegetarian when meet with friends. Hopefully, my Buddha can forgive me what I will head to in 2009.

The following is my New Year's Resolution.

1. Family:
1.1 To sincerely talk to my husband at least half hour in every evenings (Start on 7 Jan2009)
1.2 To love my husband everyday more than yesterday but not than tomorrow (Started already)
1.3 To talk to my dearest relatives twice a month
1.4 To visit my dearest family once a year with my husband

2. Health
2.1 Get up before 7am everyday excluding Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays (Started 6 Jan 2009)
2.2 Exercise with running/gym everyday at least 30 minutes (Start on 18 Jan 2009)

3. To control Bad habits
3.1 Not watch TV during 8am to 5pm on weekdays including Lunch time (Start on 8 Jan 2009)
3.2 Not watch News via either Internet or TV during 8am to 5pm during weekdays (Start on 8 Jan 2009)
3.3 Not to reply personal emails during 8am to 5pm during weekdays (Start on 8 Jan 2009)

4. Communication & integration
4.1 To know and make at least one new UK friend each month (Start in Jan 2009)
4.2 To see at least one of my UK friends each month

5. To reinforce my lifestyle
5.1 To do meditation on Saturdays at 8 to 8:15pm
5.2 To learn enjoy life and be happy always
5.3 To live in Lean philosophy

6. New tasks (Try best)
6.1 To Pass driving licence with manual gear
6.2 To find my career way to survive in the UK